Here is a sample of a “marriage-attitude” inventory you might find interesting. There are reflection questions. Throughout my years of counseling and research, several key issues have come to the forefront regarding couples. I have taken some of the most poignant issues and put them into questions to consider about your spouse. This is a good way not only to learn about your mate or potential mate but also about yourself and how you look at relationships. I offer clients and students these questions to ponder and discuss

• I expect my mate to complete me and make me happy. A sense of true happiness and completion comes from love and marriage, so I was taught to believe:
• True False
• My partner should know my needs, desires, and ambitions without me having to tell them because we’ve been together long enough:
• True False
• I expect my mate to like my family and friends. They should if they truly love me. They are a part of the package deal:
• True False
• Men and women are very different. My partner should have the same ideologies
  about gender roles, gender identities, and expectations as myself:
• True False
• Family, religion, and politics are very important to me. My partner should have the same beliefs as me or at least convert over for me:
• True False
• My partner and I should have the same sexual needs and attitudes. If we differ, they should always strive to please me:
• True False
• I believe communication is the key ingredient to any lasting relationship. A relationship will fail if we stop communicating. I feel it is my duty to always initiate discussions:
• True False
• All arguments, conflict, and confrontation should be avoided in a relationship. There is no need to argue:
• True False
• I believe marriage should be a onetime deal for me and I intend on staying
  married to the same individual for better or for worse, especially for the
  children, even if there is abuse. No matter what happens in my marriage, I am
  in it for life:
• True False
• I believe there is a place for abuse in relationships. All relationships have some component of abuse:
• True False
• It’s easy to get a divorce today and the majority of marriages wind up there anyway. Knowing this, I can go into any marriage hoping for the best but expecting the worst:
• True False
• Cheating in a marriage is okay as long as you don’t get caught:
• True False
• Cyber sex is okay to engage in. It is not really cheating:
• True False
• Pornography is a good thing to watch. I can fulfill my fantasies, which my
  partner can’t or won’t:
• True False
• Self-administered surveys in magazines are a great place to figure out how compatible you are with your mate:
• True False
• I believe relationships are highly over-rated and the idea of finding a perfect soul mate is an illusion, sometimes you just have to settle:
• True False
• I hold onto “emotional baggage” from previous relationships, which hinder my current relationships:
• True False
• I am afraid of loving someone because I fear getting hurt again:
• True False
• I believe that sometimes turning to a counselor or outside help is needed to save a relationship:
• True False